lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
Depression sucks. I was managing a 4.0 GPA until this semester then the depression got worse and I took a Friday class and everything just tanked. I kept getting under 80% on several exams and considering I'm normally getting 90s or high 80s that was fucking me up too.

Being the 'smart' one growing up really, really fucks you up later in life. Going from managing over 90% on all tests and assignments to barley scraping by a 90% in the class makes you feel like you just are not trying hard enough. I kinda wasn't but that had more to do with the fact that I couldn't make myself get started than any real hardship. Which just fucked me over more because I know I could do better but I didn't. I didn't because my brain wouldn't let me but like that matters to the depression that's fucking me over.

So, that's me. Anyone want to comment? (No assholes please)

The insomnia really doesn't help either.

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lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
lillithschild

August 2019

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