College

Sep. 1st, 2018 09:49 pm
lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
Why am I so stupid as to take 21 units of actually difficult classes this semester. Calc level Physics, 3/3 term for Calculus, Linear Algebra, C++, How to Business class, and Web Dev 2. 4+5+3+3+3+3=21 units. Fuck, I mean I can do it; it'll be fairly easy if i could just sit down and do the damn work. Which, hasn't happened in several years now, I go right up to the deadline and barely manage to complete the work.

Fuck, the US school system fuck up its students. I was the smart kid as a kid and as such no one ever taught me time-management or how to fucking study. If anyone reads this within a month and has a suggestion for a time management app that works with schoolwork and study time/groups that would be awesome. 

Mental Heath Rant below cut )

lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
Depression sucks. I was managing a 4.0 GPA until this semester then the depression got worse and I took a Friday class and everything just tanked. I kept getting under 80% on several exams and considering I'm normally getting 90s or high 80s that was fucking me up too.

Being the 'smart' one growing up really, really fucks you up later in life. Going from managing over 90% on all tests and assignments to barley scraping by a 90% in the class makes you feel like you just are not trying hard enough. I kinda wasn't but that had more to do with the fact that I couldn't make myself get started than any real hardship. Which just fucked me over more because I know I could do better but I didn't. I didn't because my brain wouldn't let me but like that matters to the depression that's fucking me over.

So, that's me. Anyone want to comment? (No assholes please)

The insomnia really doesn't help either.

FFXV

Dec. 1st, 2016 01:57 am
lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
Got my copy of FFXV ready to play. My reward to myself for actually getting out of the house and attending college.

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lillithschild: I lay in bed at night and look up, I wonder (Default)
lillithschild

August 2019

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